Girl whispering wish in Santa Claus's ear against Christmas treeIs a “Santa Whisperer” a necessary evil at Christmas?

You know, someone who knows exactly what you want and then tells your husband, lest you get a PajamaGram?

I know all too well about that, by the way. I suppose that’s not the sort of thing that could happen twice; I am lucky enough to have a friend who mercilessly ridicules my husband for having once made that last-minute express-shipping Christmas choice for me. But were she not kind enough to bring that up each December, my husband would probably be one of their best customers.

I should just save my husband the trouble of getting me anything at all, I suppose. Life is good, my cup runneth over, I don’t need new shoes or a warm coat. But it’s sort of depressing, isn’t it?  When Christmas comes and goes and the mom, the one who has orchestrated Santa and the cousins and the grab bags and the FedExing to Indiana, doesn’t get to unwrap anything at all, at least without knowing exactly what’s inside?

I don’t want to buy myself something and wrap it and give it to my husband to give back to me.

And I don’t want him to give me a gift card, because they’re

  1. everything that’s wrong with our over-commercialized modern Christmas
  2. not actually a present
  3. so evidently dull that my arguing that point in this space is completely unnecessary

The thing is, I think I am easy to buy for. At least as easy as my husband is impossible (and I’ve still managed to get him a couple of presents, without being given hints so explicit that they are more like demands).

But my husband would disagree with anything about gift-giving for a lady friend being called “easy.” Like many men, he just wants to outsource: be told what his loved one wants already and have the URL delivered directly to his inbox.

And so, while a “Santa whisperer” feels quite mercenary to me, our household has engaged one’s services this holiday season. This was allegedly done without my knowledge, although said Santa Whisperer has kept me quite well apprised of all developments. As any good friend would. Just tell me what you want, she said.

So I told her what I thought I wanted– a bracelet that I have been hinting about to my husband since at least 2010 without success. But when my Santa Whisperer then sent me the link, it cost more than I thought and I didn’t want it anymore.

Which led to this morning’s exchange in our kitchen:

ME: I don’t want what I thought I wanted.

HIM: Huh?

ME: For Christmas. It costs more than I thought.  Never mind.

HIM: Okay.

ME: … But I do know something else I kind of want.

HIM: What is it?

ME: … Should I tell you? Or should I tell your helper?

HIM: You know about the helper?

ME: Uh, yes.

Pause.

HIM: Tell the helper.

Here’s what I’m going to tell the helper, my Santa Whisperer: Just get me something. It needs to be not expensive and totally something I would love. Surprise me!

Good luck with that, Santa Whisperer!

Do you have a Santa Whisperer in your house? Is it totally obnoxious, or the only way to get what you want, or both? 

By the way, if you have a drawer full of unused gift cards– or are about to get a few for Christmas- the Cancer Card XChange, started by fellow blogger Emily Tickle Thomas, collects and distributes them to people currently undergoing cancer treatments, either to help pay the bills or just to brighten their days. Pass it on!

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