beware the deadly Croc-odile

OK so have we all heard about the latest danger to our children? Crocs Pose Danger on Escalators, according to a recent ABC News story. There have been several incidents where kids’ feet got caught in the escalator teeth, and the escalator mangled the Croc like an incriminating document in a paper shredder. Our children’s feet are NOT SAFE.

I have a couple of thoughts on this:
–really, kids on escalators aren’t safe, period. We have had various close calls in assorted footwear. I always hold my breath until we’re all off safely.
–are Crocs really any more dangerous than a rubbery flip flop?
–if all soft, open shoes are dangerous, do we need to start outfitting our toddlers in Doc Martens at all times? Is anything less than a metal-reinforced toe just an amputation waiting to happen?

In other words, Scary Media People, it’s all a big Croc. I don’t care. I’m drawing the line. I’m not getting rid of my kids’ Crocs. My boys love them, and I worship them. They’re cheap; they’re waterproof; my barely three-year-old can put them on by himself, which saved my pregnant self from bending over hundreds of times this summer; and Jibbitz,the little plastic pieces of crapola that you stick in the holes, are a sugar-free and cheap reward, bribe, you name it.

I NEED these Crocs. I guess once it hits October 1st I should really put them away, so people won’t think my children are neglected, but I am pulling them back out by St. Patrick’s Day at the latest, and I’ll get back at least ten minutes of sock-finding and double-knotting shoelaces per day.

Don’t take my Crocs away, cruel Media World. Let a mother have her small comforts. You can take the microwave popcorn, the Thomas the Tank Engines, the food coloring, but leave me their tiny, clog-like, filthy plastic shoes. We’ll take the stairs. I promise.