note to phone: please stop

No, there is no baby yet.

No, I really don’t want to talk about your utter exasperation and disbelief that I am still pregnant.

Yes, I am past my due date at this point.

No, there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as nobody is giving me a hard time about it.

Yes, I feel fine.

Yes, you will be the first to know when something happens.

Until then, I’m not picking you up. Love, Me