don’t sweat the nursery registry stuff

So I subscribe to Urban Baby Daily, which each morning deposits in my yahoo inbox information about some parent-related thing designed to pique my interest and open my wallet.

Sometimes these UB Daily missives have something wonderful to tell you about, and I am not being at all biased when I say so.

And then there are other days. Meet inbloomny.com. This is a consulting service for new mothers and mothers to be, and their motto states that they are all about “giving you time to enjoy motherhood.” A noble cause, to be sure. But here are some of the suggested tasks that they can take off your exhausted hands:

* Announcing your pregnancy in a unique and special way to husbands or family & friends

* Creating and managing your registry lists including store walkthroughs and product education

* Researching, purchasing, delivering and setting up products such as strollers and infant carriers and cribs

* Push Present, and Babymoon coordination

* Designing, installing, and organizing your nursery

* Registering you for all the classes in preparation of the arrival of your baby and after

* Personal Maternity Shoppers and Image Consultants

* Preparing your family pet

Wow. Just- wow. Is announcing your pregnancy to your husband in a “unique and special way” really so exhausting that you need to outsource it? Will you even be home when they tell him? Or will you be doing a “store walkthrough” to maximize your “product education” on $500 crib duvets?

Admittedly I could have used a Push Present/Babymoon coordinator, myself, since my husband does not know what either of these things even are. My bag has been packed for a secluded corner of St. Bart’s since 2002, but no plane tickets yet, and no bling bling for my three episiotomies, either. Pathetic.

But are there some women who are really so helpless that they need a consultant to set up a stroller for them? Or is it the mere existence of such consultants, that makes them fear that they will be utter failures without their help? “Heavens to Betsy! I need a consultant to register me for ‘all the classes in preparation of the arrival of my baby and after!'” That’s right, Mommy to Be. Without professional help, who knows what Maternity Image you will be projecting? Sign up for the Prepare and Pamper Gift Package now! Quickly! Before Rover and Meow Meow start to notice that something is up.

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