as we change… from old to really, really old

OK, somebody please tell me that they gave me an e-subscription to the As We Change catalog as a funny, funny joke. Please tell me that I am not, as deemed by the privacy-invaded details of my online wanderings, old enough, just yet, to be a member of their core demographic.

As We Change offers products for women in transition,” the website says, putting it gently, “helping you experience midlife in a whole new way.” Their product line includes “Tummy Tuck Jeans,” washable walking sneakers, and the No Headache Visor. Well, thanks, As We Change, but I am not old enough to wear visors with my beauty parlor ‘do, let alone old enough to complain that my constant visor wear, at the retirement development where I live, is giving me a HEADACHE.

No, what is giving me a headache, today, is that you sent me this email, and reminded me of my own encroaching mortality, and the Carol Wior Emerald Bay 3-piece Skirtini that I am going to have to start wearing one of these days, much sooner than I would like to think. Thanks for the ego boost, As We Change!