Kate Update

Since there are so few outlets out there sufficiently covering all things Jon and Kate, and so few bloggers offering their opinions thereof, I thought I would attempt to correct that unfortunate paucity by bringing up the hate of Kate, again.

As of last night, my husband David still had no idea who Kate Gosselin was. “Why do I keep seeing this lady’s picture?” he said, holding up the newspaper. This is, by the way, one of David’s most attractive qualities. He has no idea who anyone supposedly famous is; I, while having never watched The Hills, can still tell you a lot about “Speidi,” and I am not proud of that.

Anyway. I was giving Rip Van David a download on the whole Jon and Kate sitch, which honestly I don’t know how he managed to not stay abreast of.
I assume even these people, the Amazon tribe heretofore uncontacted by humankind, could give him a thumbnail sketch, at this point. I patiently explained to David that Jon is probably cheating on her, and she may even be cheating on him, and everyone hates Kate. “Why?” he asked.

“Imagine someone,” I said, “with all of my worst qualities, but none of my better ones.”

He thought about that for a moment. “Whoa,” he said, clearly getting a scary picture.

Frankly, I have been haunted by the same scary picture ever since, because I’m right. There are times when I am a lot like Kate: eye-rolling, sarcastic, and utterly without patience, even with my children. Not every day. But I can go there. While I dislike Kate as much as everyone else does, I am also aware that if my life were filmed 24/7, you could put together a highlight reel of me that would be less than flattering.

If you haven’t yet seen the compilation of Kate Gosselin’s Top 10 Angry Moments, it’s a sobering look at the times when Mommy can be Not So Nice. I’ve been going around imagining the highlight reel they could create from me, and vowing not to give the editors any more fodder. It’s kind of like when our mothers had those pig magnets on their refrigerators so they wouldn’t snack. Powerful, powerful stuff.