Saturday mornings always start too early, don’t they? By 8 a.m., I’m usually counting the hours until bedtime… too much unstructured puttering in pajamas always leads to trouble. This morning, I was in the bathroom when Connor shouted, from a few rooms away,

CONNOR: Dad! Maggie swallowed her gum!

I expected to hear my better half lay down the law and figure out which of our two sons was about to be in big trouble for giving it to her. Instead, David says,

DADDY: Maggie. Why’d you swallow your gum?

as if this were, in any way, a reasonable question to ask of a barely two-year-old. I opened the bathroom door.

ME: You gave Maggie GUM?

David just shrugged, sheepishly. All innocent though, like, I had no idea that was a problem.

Sometimes fathers lose their minds a little bit I think. He definitely knew at points prior to this one that a two-year-old will do nothing with gum but swallow it whole, and immediately. I’m not sure when he lost sight of that.

A few minutes later, he stuck his head in the bathroom.

DADDY: Are you going to put that on your blog?

I just shrugged, sheepishly. All innocent though, like, I had no idea that was a problem.

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