I’ve been telling my husband this for years

A 3 hr football game contains less than 11 min of actual play. According to an article in today’s Wall Street Journal,”if you tally up everything that happens between the time the ball is snapped and the play is whistled dead by the officials, there’s barely enough time to prepare a hard-boiled egg.”

I feel incredibly vindicated that this has been verified by actual research, but c’mon. This is NEWS? David Biderman, the (male) author of this article, thinks it is a staggering revelation.

Here’s something even dedicated students of the game may not fully appreciate: There’s very little actual football in a football game.

Perhaps “dedicated students of the game” were not aware of this, but any woman who’s had to turn her winter weekends over to an all-day dull roar from the television, punctuated by deafening ads for violent movies, was well aware: football games last ALL DAY and they actually play for like ten minutes.  Now we have scientific proof that it’s about 10 minutes and 47 seconds, to be exact. Great. Now can we change the channel? Catch the highlights later? Get our lives back? Especially now that the Patriots are out of it. Let’s stop the madness.

photo illustration by Jeff Mangiat via WSJ.com

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Mollie January 15, 2010 at 5:06 pm

AMEN SISTER. You are 100% right.

On a related note, this reminds me of an interview I once copy-edited with — whatshername, Jerry McConnell's wife. Rebecca Romijn. I really couldn't have been less interested in their domestic life (it's so blissful! But not always!), but I read this part and I thought Wow that is SO TRUE:

"Then there are the hours O'Connell will put in watching sports on TV. 'The way it sounds makes my skin crawl,' Romijn says. 'It's the graphics, the interstitial music-dung-dung-dom-dong, rarrrgh! I find it so awful to listen to. My brain just shuts off when I hear somebody talking about it. It just sounds like "wonk-wonk-wonk."'"


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