my 2 year old should be on Hoarders

This morning, in order to go watch Max & Ruby on our couch, this is what my two-year-old REALLY needed to take out of her crib and bring with her:

-blankie
-pillow
-Sheepie
-Kee Cat
-book
-another book
-another book
-and “cover,” a pink velour throw with her name on it that easily weighs as much as she does.

I was staggering under the weight of all her accoutrements. Seriously, when did I sign up to be a lady-in-waiting and lug all this crap around? (She knew that I had no choice but to do her bidding, since her brothers were still asleep and but one howl of protest from her would wake them.)

Then, to take her brothers to school on the city bus, she had to load up her “kackpack” with a Barbie, sunglasses, some socks, and the rubber band that was around the plastic container of grape tomatoes.

I had my own backpack, of course, loaded up with my laptop, charger, phone, wallet, datebook, newspaper, book, water, and workout clothes in case I got to the gym. But, as the late great George Carlin once pointed out, other people’s stuff is shit. My shit is stuff.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

tarheelmom February 8, 2010 at 9:07 pm

isn't it funny what they deem as necessary

my husband and i cannot stand to watch hoarders…it's just awful.
we watch each entire episode beginning to end!

Reply

Anonymous February 8, 2010 at 9:37 pm

I think it's a girl thing. Boys grab one truck, or one book. That's why we need purses, while the men travel light.

Reply

Wendi February 9, 2010 at 9:16 pm

I like to surround myself with security items when I watch "Max & Ruby," too. Ruby scares me.

Reply

Anonymous February 9, 2010 at 9:34 pm

My son has been that way since he was under 2. Whether it's going to bed or leaving the house or in the shower–he needs a bag full of superheroes, a few stuffed dogs, blankie and maybe even an vehicle or two.

It does get better as they get older…at least in his case.

Reply

Mollie February 10, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Wendi made me laugh out loud. Based on the handful of episodes I have half-watched, Ruby is one seriously unlikeable character. The first time I saw the show, I assumed she was headed for a comeuppance, and the episode would wrap up with a lesson about not being bossy. But since then I have come to understand that "Ruby orders Max around and he obeys, mutely" is the basic premise of the show. Which is upsetting, gentle aesthetics notwithstanding.

Reply

AJ February 16, 2010 at 2:23 am

the real point of max and ruby, though, is that max is a savant, and no matter how much ruby bosses him around his bizarre screwups are ALWAYS genius in the end. but the real question is where are their parents?

Reply

Anonymous March 13, 2010 at 4:11 am

Just make your kid carry her own crap. She will realize how unnecessary it is soon enough. You are just catering to her if you carry it for her. Let her deal with the consequences of carrying around so much junk herself.

Reply

Abby March 22, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Leave a Comment