I said WEAD IT Mommy

My five-year-old is home sick from school today with a fever. With that, of course, comes general low-grade dragginess and irritability to the extreme. So far, as long as his little sister leaves him alone with his toys and crayons, all is well. But when kids are really cranky, they will sometimes seek you out specifically to take offense at whatever you say.
Seamus just came over from the kitchen table and handed me this message.

SEAMUS: Wead it.

MOMMY: Well, I, uh–

SEAMUS: Wead it. 


Seamus is beginning to enjoy sounding out words and guessing how things are spelled. Usually, this is a source of great enjoyment for him, mastering “dog” and “mom” and his siblings’ names and such. Just in the last week, though, it has become a real problem, in that he tries to write down entire paragraphs and then becomes absolutely furious when you cannot read them back to him.

I tried to buy some time.

MOMMY: Well, let’s see. I see the word “surprise.” (it’s in the third row)

SEAMUS: Yes.

MOMMY: And it starts off saying “See you… later”?

SEAMUS: You tell me what it says. You’re the one who can wead.

MOMMY: Uh- huh. Yep, that’s what it says all right. “See you later.”

SEAMUS: And den what?

MOMMY: I… don’t know, Shea. Can you read it to me?

SEAMUS: I CAN’T WEAD!

MOMMY: Well, I know that, but–

SEAMUS: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN WEAD! WEAD IT!

MOMMY: …aap gad wiul crur surprise you gasp nuct?

Seamus’ face crumples.

MOMMY: Is that what it says?

SEAMUS: No- oo-oo… (he is crying now)

MOMMY: Can you tell me what you wanted it to say?

SEAMUS: I don’t even wemember! Because you made me not wemember! Ah-hahhhhh….

Afternoon ruined. Anyone else want to take a stab at it?

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Annie D March 18, 2010 at 5:09 pm

2nd line: Wiul… maybe "real"? Since he probably pronounces it "weal". Totally a shot in the dark. Wish I could be more help 🙂

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Anonymous March 18, 2010 at 5:12 pm

See you later alligator, in a while crocodile, surprise, you guessed right.

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Amy Wilson March 18, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Two updates: Seamus has strep throat. And "Anonymous" is a genius. Seamus confirms that it does say "See you later alligator," but then, "I made up my own fing, and I can't wemember it." So "wiul" is not "real" but "while." Anonymous, you are GOOD.

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Mollie March 18, 2010 at 7:10 pm

I had pretty much exactly this conversation with him the other day (minus the crankiness). "Can't you read?" I've been puzzing over NO GARSAISUM ever since.

Anonymous, are you available for consultation on short notice?

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Stacey March 18, 2010 at 7:28 pm

Thanks! (I'm anonymous btw- I hate taking the time to sign in on Blogger if I've logged out)

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Amy Wilson March 18, 2010 at 7:36 pm

I'm glad you mentioned that Stacey- I'll see if I can do something to make commenting hassle-free! (and thanks for the translation too)

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Annie D March 18, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Wow Stacey! That was seriously impressive! You should consider giving lessons in translating little kid to English

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Cathy April 2, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I read this earlier today and my daughter (6) just brought me a piece of paper on which she had written, quite clearly, "ielleA". She asked me "what this word says," wailed, complained, whined, and shrieked over my five attempts to pronounce it, and finally stormed off, wailing that I'm a "liar." Ooooookay. How weird is it that this happened the day I read this post?

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Anonymous April 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

OK, Cathy, I'll play: "yellow"?

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Amy Wilson April 2, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Cathy, if Anonymous is Stacey, she's a savant with this stuff. "ielleA" IS probably "yellow." Genius, I tell you!

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Dianna April 8, 2010 at 6:48 pm

i'm laughing at my desk. my daughter totally does this, it's maddening. she does it with pictures too.

her: *hands me incomprehensible picture* look what i drew!

me: cool! what is it?

her: *furious* IT'S AN ELEPHANT DRINKING MILK NEXT TO A TREE!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!!! *fit*

you can't win.

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Laura H April 12, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Oops — Anonymous #2 is me. (Sorry about that!) I'm still kind of curious about "ielleA" — Cathy, are you out there? 😉

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