I said WEAD IT Mommy

My five-year-old is home sick from school today with a fever. With that, of course, comes general low-grade dragginess and irritability to the extreme. So far, as long as his little sister leaves him alone with his toys and crayons, all is well. But when kids are really cranky, they will sometimes seek you out specifically to take offense at whatever you say.
Seamus just came over from the kitchen table and handed me this message.

SEAMUS: Wead it.

MOMMY: Well, I, uh–

SEAMUS: Wead it. 

Seamus is beginning to enjoy sounding out words and guessing how things are spelled. Usually, this is a source of great enjoyment for him, mastering “dog” and “mom” and his siblings’ names and such. Just in the last week, though, it has become a real problem, in that he tries to write down entire paragraphs and then becomes absolutely furious when you cannot read them back to him.

I tried to buy some time.

MOMMY: Well, let’s see. I see the word “surprise.” (it’s in the third row)


MOMMY: And it starts off saying “See you… later”?

SEAMUS: You tell me what it says. You’re the one who can wead.

MOMMY: Uh- huh. Yep, that’s what it says all right. “See you later.”

SEAMUS: And den what?

MOMMY: I… don’t know, Shea. Can you read it to me?


MOMMY: Well, I know that, but–


MOMMY: …aap gad wiul crur surprise you gasp nuct?

Seamus’ face crumples.

MOMMY: Is that what it says?

SEAMUS: No- oo-oo… (he is crying now)

MOMMY: Can you tell me what you wanted it to say?

SEAMUS: I don’t even wemember! Because you made me not wemember! Ah-hahhhhh….

Afternoon ruined. Anyone else want to take a stab at it?