the gauntlet has been thrown down

This week a mommy friend of mine posted this as her Facebook status:


Thank you Pampers, Huggies, Luvs, and more recently, Fuzzi Bunz, Green Mountain prefolds, BumGenius and Rumparooz diapers for covering my kids’ butts for the past 7.5 yrs. We will miss you but are very excited to finally be Diaper Free!!

She has three children, more or less my children’s ages. Her youngest, a week older than my daughter Maggie, is now completely out of diapers. Maggie… is still completely IN diapers.


Let’s leave aside any guilt that I might feel about not using Fuzzi Bunz reusables (“a better diaper for a better planet”), Bumgenius (“cloth diapering made easy”),  Rumparooz (“keeping the poo off your little roo”), and Green Mountain prefolds (“chlorine-free and unbleached!”) I mean, of course I feel guilty now that I have looked them all up and created handy hyperlinks, but they were not even on the fringes of my consciousness when Maggie was born two-and-a-half years ago.


No, let’s leave the ecodiapering guilt aside for now, because I’m full up right now on guilt that my friend has her 31-month-old trained and I don’t. 


Nothing like a little peer pressure to motivate a mom. I now present to you a little scene from this morning, in my kitchen.


MAGGIE: Mommy I need a new diaper.
ME (taking it off): No, let’s have some potty time. If you get the pee-pee feeling, tell me, and we’ll hurry to the potty.
MAGGIE: NO!
ME: Now, c’mon honey, let’s–
MAGGIE: NOOO!!
ME: You are two and a half years old! You speak in paragraphs! You are TOO BIG for diapers!
MAGGIE: NO Mommy NO NO NOAHDGHGHGHGH–


At this point, she took leave of her senses and held her breath until she passed out, banging her head off the kitchen floor as she toppled over backwards. Then she held her breath about hitting her head. Then, when I picked her up to comfort her, she peed all over me. 


Round one to Maggie. This is going to be a long summer.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

WriterGrrl June 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Oh, Amy, I feel your pain. Please see my post from a few days ago about photographing my son's poop. He is 4.5, by the way. And this is his first week without diapers.

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Amy S. June 17, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Oh my! How did you know I needed a good laugh today??!!!

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Katie C June 17, 2010 at 7:16 pm

My son was over 4 before he was fully potty-trained. We put him in underwear before he was 3 and he NEVER had an accident. He just flat out refused to poop in the toilet!!! We would end up giving in and letting him go in a pull-up because he would go for so long without going. It was awful. BUT one day it clicked, and the rest is history. 🙂

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Onthenightyouwereborn June 17, 2010 at 7:47 pm

OH. NO! That is hilarious! We used a three-day potty training method that worked great for our 24-month-old daughter. She really was potty trained in three days! You literally can't leave their side for three days though.

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tmhchina June 17, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Next to nursing and getting my kids to eat, toilet training is one of my biggest challenges…with my second child. My oldest was out of diapers during the day when she was two and at night when she was three. My second daughter is now two and a half and has little to no interest in going potty. She will pee every now and then, but these instances are few and far between.
I find the difference between my girls staggering. I have chalked it up to individual and parenting differences. Parenting a second child is a whole new ball game.
Anyway, I wouldn't get too stressed out about it if I were you. A good friend of mine always says, "She won't be in *diapers* (insert behaviour…)when she is six, so don't sweat it!"

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Jordan June 18, 2010 at 3:19 am

Seriously, wait until she is 3. My mom has 5 (almost 6) kids ranging from 21 (me), 20, 16, 3 down to 18 months (and one due in September).

Since I am 21 I have a VERY active almost parenting role in my 3 year old sister and 18 month old brothers lives. Ally the 3 year old was basically my first child haha. I had all the 1st time parent fears with her. My mom works so I am basically a full time sitter for Ally and Cooper (by choice). I take them to all of their various gymboree, little gym, dance, kingermuzic, school, ect; and so I deal with a lot of the "Parent peer pressure".

Anyway back to the potty training issue. When all my moms friends who are first time moms started to potty train their kids at 2, I was CONVINCED Ally needed to be potty trained too. My mom kept saying "No, wait until she's 3. I waited with all of you guys and you NEVER had an accident". Of course I didn't listen so she humored me, and laughed as Ally peed through 11 pair of underwear one day. I swear she peed 6 times in one hour! Ultimately I decided that Mommy did know best and we stopped until she turned 3.

A few weeks after her third birthday I took the diaper, gave her panties and said "It's time to use the potty now". (of course there were multiple bribes to get her to sit on the potty). 4 months later she has NEVER had an accident. Her friends are potty trained as well…but their parents endured a year of accidents at the target checkout, carseat, ect; that we never had to deal with.

It isn't worth the stress. As my mom always says, "She'll be potty trained before she goes to college"

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Marinka June 18, 2010 at 8:32 am

Hmm, maybe it's better to focus on getting your friend's kid back IN diapers?

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Cheryl June 18, 2010 at 10:12 am

Long doesn't begin to describe what you're facing.

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Anonymous June 18, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Too bad it is summer… we gave D1 big girl underwear for Christmas when she had just turned 3 with a note from Santa about potty training. It definitely made her want to do it! She is 20 now, and so far no psychotherapist intervention has been eeded as a result of that little trick.

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Anonymous June 19, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Believe me, I would wait until 3 if I could. BUT the damn schools require it. You have to be potty trained by 2 years 9 months if you want your kid to go there.

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Amy Wilson June 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Hey all! thanks for all these comments here.

WriterGrrl, we're in this together.

onthenightyouwereborn… tell me more about this 3 day program please!

Marinka… you may have the best plan of all.

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Heather July 1, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Amy–My friend Tami (wonderful mom, very strict) took a pretty hardline approach. She very matter of factly told her children at age 2 that they were no longer in diapers–period. She then told them that it was totally and completely ok if they pooped in their pants (insert sweet, loving voice here), but that doing so meant that they would have to be sprayed down with the garden hose in the driveway before they could come in the house. She explained that they had to get cleaned up beforehand, b/c after all, putting poopy underwear in the washer and a poopy child in the nice clean bathtub would be pretty gross, didn't they think? She swears they were trained in a week after enduring the hose a few times. that's right–cold water from a garden hose spraying off poop–crazy, right?! But I love her to death, she's a great mom with great kids, etc. There's as many ways to go about it as there are kids 🙂

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Anonymous July 2, 2010 at 2:56 am

Heather – I laughed out loud! Your friend, the good mother, should get an award. It might seem cruel to garden hose your kids, but why go through all that time and frustration? I think as moms we are too afraid our kids won't love us and we cause much unnecessary suffering! Love the blog Amy!

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Amy Wilson July 2, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Heather, I like this garden hose idea too, and I'm thisclose to trying it. My little princess will be in for quite a shock!

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