is your dad funny?

While in kindergarten, each of my sons has participated in a daily classroom poll, giving them a chance to state their opinions and practice writing their names in one fell swoop. 

A few years ago, when Connor was five, the question was: Is your dad funny?

David was not amused, but his co-workers sure were (when I emailed them the photo). 

Yesterday, it was Seamus’s turn.

Now the kids are signing in on a Smart Board instead of a piece of paper, which is soooo 2008. (By the way, there is no kid named “Hug to” in my son’s class; admittedly boys’ names are getting a little more unusual these days, but that is the Smart Board deciding, in a Damn You Auto Correct sort of way, that “Hugo” was spelling his own name wrong.)

But while the times may have changed, the answer remains the same: my sons are in fervent agreement that their father is not funny.

“Shea, really? I’m not funny at ALL?” David asked this morning, with puppy-dog eyes.
Seamus considered his Raisin Bran, chewing thoughtfully.
“Nope,” he said, all the more certain he had chosen correctly.

I’ll admit my husband is no Jim Gaffigan, but he was pretty funny this morning, trying to prove that he was, and getting nowhere.

“What about Mom? Is she funny?” he asked, after trying a few silly dances, to no avail.

“Yep.” “Uh huh,” the boys agreed. 

This is because I’ll do anything for a laugh at my house. I’ll do poop jokes at the dinner table. I’ll belch and then pretend it was Maggie. I have no shame. 

Still, it’s a big relief, since I have a lot more of my self-esteem and career wrapped up in being funny than my husband does. But it bothers me that the teachers never ask if moms are funny. That’s not even an expectation. They might ask “Is your mom a good cook?” but funny? Why, Christopher Hitchens settled that question way back in the pre-Smart-Board years: women aren’t funny. Quod erat demonstrandum.

I would like to put Hitchens’s theory to the test tomorrow, and settle this matter on the Smart Board once and for all. But. If Seamus said I wasn’t funny, I might never recover. 

Though it would be pretty funny.

If you’re home tonight, please tune in to Blue Bloods on CBS at 10 pm. I play Elaine Carson, a mom who is having a regular day until her daughter gets kidnapped. I cry a LOT. Lucky me– I got to play out every mother’s worst nightmare! 

Also, you may have noticed that I’ve installed “Disqus” commenting software on the blog, which allows things like threaded comments, meaning I can respond to comments individually- and so can you. It also makes it easier to comment– and I think it’s a big improvement. Hope you like it.