does anyone talk to their spouse on the phone anymore?

My friend Erin over at I’m Gonna Kill Him has a hilarious post up on her blog listing all the acronyms she’s going to start using while texting with her husband to save time. One sample:


YOU:  ATNA?  (At Target, need anything?)
HIM:  NAEHTC  (No, and empty half the cart)
I need someone to text me that while I’m at Target, for sure. 
Read Erin’s whole post because it’s hilarious. It also made me think, since Erin said she and her husband have pretty much given up on trying to talk to each other on the phone. Who has time for a phone call? Texting is what they do instead. 
My husband and I don’t text that much; David carries multiple devices with him, and wherever he is, the smartphone that texts is not with him. Or so it seems. But phone calls don’t work too well for us either. David claims I pick up my phone about every one in twenty times. “What’s the point in calling you?” he exclaims. “It’s not like you’re gonna answer.” 
And who wants to talk anyway? We have in-laws who check in with each other all day long, lovey-dovey stuff like “How’s your day going? What did you have for lunch?” but all that seems like a complete waste of time to two type-As like us. And so we don’t bother. I will track him down if I really need something, but otherwise, talk to you tomorrow morning, or whenever I see you next. 
The only time we DO talk on the phone is when we are on separate continents. Our hearts grow suddenly fonder of each another, we miss each each other, and the phone rings. 
David is out of the country this week. The phone rang this morning at 7 a.m.
HIM: (on speaker) Hi! How are you guys? How are my kids?
Three children, munching Cascadian Farms Chocolate O’s, ignore him entirely.
ME: Well, not so good, Daddy, we’re already having time outs for biting and punching.
DADDY: Oh, boy. So let me ask you. Look at your calendar, week of–
8 YEAR OLD: I  said get OFF me!
ME: (into phone) What?
6 YEAR OLD: I’m not DOING ANYTHING!
3 YEAR OLD: Mommy, I spilled a little bit of lot of milk.
DADDY: –thought we could make a long weekend of it and fly to–
8 YEAR OLD: I hate you and I HATE YOUR FACE!
6 YEAR OLD: (attempting a face rake) AGHHDHHHGHH! 
DADDY: –so what do you think?
ME: I think… this isn’t really a good time for me to talk.
My husband was offering me a romantic getaway. One that was HIS idea. And I was all, can you put it in a tweet? I’m refereeing right now.
I feel bad. I should call and say so. But he’s in bed. (I hope.) Once again, the planets are aligned against a meaningful phone conversation. 
Maybe we should try carrier pigeon?
How do you communicate with your spouse during the day? How often do you communicate? Do you find it is often not worth the trouble? 

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah June 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm

We g-chat with each other in gmail.  It works well because it can be a streaming conversation or just a place to put links we want to share or pieces of information.  I don’t like to talk on the phone too much, so this works great for us, especially when he is out of town.  We he is gone, all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch bad TV while eating cereal for dinner after my daughter goes to sleep, not talk on the phone! I tell him to email me 🙂

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Anonymous June 9, 2011 at 1:35 am

God I don’t even know what g-chat IS. I am so old. Sounds good though. 
I am so with you, when I am home alone I watch Toddlers and Tiaras and eat several bowls of granola for dinner and do not want to talk to ANYONE.

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Erin June 9, 2011 at 2:55 am

You and I have the exact same home alone plan. 

I hate your face!  I know that shouldn’t make me laugh, but it really does.

And, btw, you need to text your husband back YTTALATRS  (yes to trip as long as there’s room service).

Thanks for the mention. 

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lekh June 9, 2011 at 5:02 pm

we still talk on the phone around lunch, for about 46 seconds until one of us has to run !! but ti gives me something to look fwd to especially if i m having a crappy day @ work…it seems somehow harder to catch up once we r home, its all abt the kids, getting dinner, getting them bathed to bed yada yada yada

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Anonymous June 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

well you have a point there… it’s not like the conversation is so sparkling when we’re both in the same room, either, if the kids are too.

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kellyB June 9, 2011 at 6:58 pm

We use iChat and just instant message each other throughout the day. We actually work together too, though I’m only at the office about 12 hours a week, when I’m there we still use IM even though we sit 8 feet away from each other at our computers. Ha!

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Hayley June 9, 2011 at 7:26 pm

So funny. My husband and I text each other because I can never hear what he’s saying either! I think I need to take some direction from the teenage sext-ing thing because we might as well get something out of it! 

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Katy Clark June 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I’m going to say it…I love working 3 days at week because I can get a lot done in our life simply by being at the office and emailing my husband those days. I can write uninterrupted emails and read the reply uninterrupted. Brilliant!

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Katrinanc June 10, 2011 at 3:34 am

okaaaay, I think we have kids that are the same age, and we have instituted a “Freeze Zone When Mom or Dad is On the Phone.”  Because daddy is a lawyer, and mommy can’t filter noise when the phone rings, we’ve trained the kids to freeze – no noise.  If you have something you MUST say, then you hold mom’s elbow so that I can ask you what you want when I get a break in the conversation.  Kudos and a treat usually follow. Standing in the corner to think about it if you don’t.

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Kelcey June 13, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Hilarious. We text and talk sometimes. But everything is very brief. And then at night, we are so tired. That’s why you need the get-aways!

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Congressman Weiner June 16, 2011 at 7:13 pm

You may discover, if you don’t find/make time for his calls when he’s alone in another country, there’s plenty of people on the internet who will.

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Jennifer Gniadecki January 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

We communicate by phone, by email, by text, and in person. I specifically got the vehicle upgrade with bluetooth last time we bought a car in order for us to more easily – and safely – talk to one another from the car. I have a 6y a 5yo and a 2yo and we can talk just fine with one another. We hit mute if we need to tell the kids we’re on the phone and to come back later. (There’s a bleeding or broken rule – as in “don’t bother me uless something is”) The kids 

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