what you learn when you’re with your kids 24/7

School has been out for two weeks now, so I’ve been spending a lot more time with the kids than usual. A LOT. Which means we get to really drill down and talk about the stuff that matters. Here’s a few things I’ve learned in the last two weeks:

  • crossing your fingers is good luck. Crossing your fingers on both hands is very good luck. But crossing your toes is BAD LUCK, like, don’t-even-try-this-goofing-around bad luck. 
  • if you want to play “Cheese Touch,” somebody touches cheese, and then when you have the cheese touch, you have to touch somebody when they don’t have their fingers crossed, and the only way to block the cheese touch is by crossing your fingers.
  • You have to really have cheese to play the cheese touch. Or sometimes you can just decide that you want to have the cheese touch.
  • In Kung Fu Panda 2, there’s this peacock named Shen? And the kung fu panda has to fight them? And there’s this weapon that shoots like balls of metal that are on fire, and then Master Shifu teaches the kung fu panda something called “inner peace.”
  • If you want Chop Chop? He’s any any any. But they all have to be dragon blossoms. Sooki-Yaki is purple pepper, red magic, yellow magic, OR, red magic, yellow magic, black pepper. Or purple magic. And if you REALLY– Mom, listen. If you REALLY–
HELP ME. HELP ME, LORD JESUS. Eleven weeks until school starts. I don’t think I can make it that long. You gotta help me get rid of this Cheese Touch.

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