Aug 11, 2011

so, what are your superpowers?

Overheard from the next room this morning, between Seamus and Maggie:

SEAMUS: We’re superheroes.

MAGGIE: We’re both two superheroes.

SEAMUS: What are your superpowers?

MAGGIE: Well, I–

SEAMUS: You can have four.

Maggie considers these parameters before responding. 

MAGGIE: I have… kicking… and… fighting…

SEAMUS: Those aren’t superpowers.

MAGGIE: Yes them are.

SEAMUS: Those are superhero things to DO, but they’re not superpowers.

Pause while Maggie takes this in.

SEAMUS: Superpowers are, like, shooting lasers.

MAGGIE: Mm-hmm! I shoot lasers.

SEAMUS: From where?

MAGGIE: From me!

SEAMUS: But where from you? Like, your fingers, or your eyes…

MAGGIE: My eyes! I shoot lasers from my eyes.

SEAMUS: But no you can’t, because I shoot lasers from my eyes.

MAGGIE: Oh.

Another pause.

SEAMUS: You can shoot lasers from somewhere else… like your ears?

MAGGIE: I shoot lasers from my ears!

It took everything I had to not enter the conversation right there and point out that shooting lasers out of your ears, at right angles to your line of vision, would be a moderately useful superpower at best, and King-Midas-like in its danger to all you hold dear at worst.

But I held my tongue, since after all that, Maggie still had three superpowers to go.

My four superpowers are:

  • talking really fast
  • remembering every lyric to every top 40 song from 1989
  • the potential ability to drink all the iced coffee in the whole world at a single sitting
  • misplacing my wallet
What are yours?
  • 13 Comments
  • Casey Freeland

    Ability to leap to illogical conclusions in a single subjection*.

    Justifications more powerful than a locomotive… burning jet fuel.

    Dimentia coming on faster than a speeding octogenarian.

    And I can make things disappear. I set something (remote, keys, wallet, brain) down and five seconds later it has disappeared.

    Cheers,

    Casey

    * I’m not entirely sure that’s the right word, but it sounds good so I’m not going to look it up and spoil the rhythm…

  • Sue @ Mommy’s Pen

    Hmmm.

    -dancing like Molly Ringwald in the Breakfast Club
    -going to bed early
    -anticipating when four-year-old flailing will result in injury with enough time to cushion the impact with my hand
    -making ridiculously tasty breakfast burritos

    • Anonymous

      ooh, going to bed early. That’s a good one.

  • Anonymous

    My wallet disapparates (and then reapparates somewhere I already looked) all the time. I think it’s messing with me.

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com/ Elaine

    I can recognize a face after seeing it only once before, eat chocolate before you even saw it existed, hear every little thing they are doing/saying and fly (you know, in the way Mother’s can fly or run very fast if needed, you get it, right? ;-P)

    Love your new space! 

  • http://www.momvesting.com Christa

    -Ability to run like Pheobe on Friends
    -Able to sing really badly, really loudly, and really off key
    -Dog whispering…although the dog doesn’t seem to hear it
    -Ability to ignore how dirty my house is until I have company coming

  • http://www.mamabirddiaries.com the mama bird diaries

    Eating peppermint patties for sure. I need to think of the rest. Love the new site!

  • http://www.theflyingchalupa.com The Flying Chalupa

    Iced coffee is divine, isn’t it?  I would be the Robin to your Iced Latte-Man.

    Thanks again for the fabulous session at BlogHer – such great tips!  And it was so great chatting with you at Saturday’s dinner.  What a great group of ladies.

    • Anonymous

      thanks Flying C! It was so fun to meet you at last. thanks for coming to the session.

  • Missy @ Wonder, Friend

    Catching up on your blog, post-vacation. I love the new look!

    I think it was very generous of Seamus to give Maggie four superpowers. What a good kid he is. My superpowers…

    1. An encyclopedic knowledge of late 70s/early 80s television (mainly sitcoms).
    2. Yep. That’s it. Lamest Superhero ever. Give me several days and I might be able to come up with three more powers…

    PS – cracked me up that you used disapparates in a comment.

    • Anonymous

      how about, able to comment on a bajillion friends’ blogs every week? And write your own? You amaze me.  Hardly lame!

  • Pingback: Friday Roundup: Finance, Parenting and Mom Blogs | MomVesting

  • http://femmefrugality.blogspot.com/ femmefrugality

    1. I can mess up any pair of shoes within 24 hours of purchase.
    2.  I can chug raspberry iced tea like nobody’s business.
    3.  I can walk through snow without my feet getting frostbitten.
    4.  I can argue with anyone about anything, even if I don’t believe in what I’m saying.  (I’ve stopped using this one as much as I’ve matured.  Haha)