I carry a few secrets around with me, sources of deep shame. Don’t we all?
Okay, I’ll go first.
I can’t really drink out of water fountains. Whenever I do, I get water all over my entire lower face. I can really only attempt it if I’m wearing long sleeves, so that I can use up one (or both) of them to mop up before I return to a fully upright position.
And I don’t know how to tie shoes correctly.
I’m not sure why this is– I think I was under deadline to learn over Labor Day Weekend, before first grade started and I’d be on my own with my imitation Docksiders (speaking of sources of deep shame). And so my dad taught me this sort of placeholder method that was a lot easier to teach me at the time. I think he figured he’d teach me the “real way” later. And then siblings 3, 4, 5, and 6 were born.
Most people, in my history of observing people tie shoes, use the method detailed here- let’s call it the ehow method. The first half of the method, making the “X” out of the two long shoelaces and pulling it tight, is how I do it too (let’s assume that that’s universal). But then, here is the norm from which I deviate:
- Fold one shoelace in half while holding laces taut.
Wrap the other end around the folded end.
- Grasp it in the middle after pulling it around the folded end.
- Bend it into a flat loop and pull through, making a bow.
- Make two bunny ears.
- X the bunny ears.
- Put a bunny ear through the hole.