What if a Mother Had Been in That Locker Room?

I have an essay up on Huffington Post Parents today about the whole awful tragedy at Penn State, where nine (and counting) children were sexually abused for years while adults stood by and did nothing.

I hope you’ll take a look.

What if a Mother Had Been In That Locker Room? 

I don’t mean to say that only mothers are capable of putting children’s well-being first. I do believe that these men– and all of them were men– failed miserably. And if you’re a mother like me, you’re haunted by the thought of that boy being raped in the showers, and seeing another adult come in– who then LEAVES WITHOUT SAVING YOU.

I’ll try to get back to saying something funny next week.







{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Thetiredmother November 11, 2011 at 7:33 pm

There would have been a baseball bat and a bloody smear.  That’s what would have happened.


Stephanie Precourt November 12, 2011 at 4:36 am

Oh it just makes me sick! I would have clawed eyes out. I kind of want to right now.



Katy @ ExperiencedBadMom November 15, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Your essay was well done and well put.


Steven November 16, 2011 at 12:17 am

Leaving the fantasy of having a mother taking towels in a boys locker room, and all the daily drama that would entail aside, there is a strong aroma of man-hate that permeates your essay, creating a reality distortion field that you may want to try to adjust some day.
If you speak to any child-protection service employee, or speak with a number of abused children, you would find that too many times the mother of the abused child will tend to support the father/abuser of that child. So much so that again, your essay says a lot more about your abstraction of “men,” in particular, than it says about the reality of men in that context, in general. I’ll leave the issue of female predators, and our court system’s traditional leniency towards female teachers who enjoy teenage boys alone for now.
Your essay was not useful, and not helpful. It offered no solutions to a “problem” while generally painting men as quiet accomplices to child predation.
Shame on you, Amy.


Anonymous November 16, 2011 at 12:50 am

Hi Steven. No man-hate, honestly. Lots of anger at the two sexual abuse cases I discussed in the essay– involving many many accomplices who looked the other way– who were– in those cases– all men. I think for those two cases that may be significant. I think it’s worth considering. 

Of course many women abuse, stand by their abuser, are capable of inhumanity. And of course many men would not tolerate it. That’s not what happened. IN THIS CASE. And that’s what I’m talking about. Nothing we say will change each other’s opinions, I suppose, but I do appreciate your taking the time to post your thoughts. I respect your comments enough not to edit them.


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