What Not To Wear: Preschool Edition

I had a meeting yesterday morning, and I was up and showered early, eager to put on something besides jeans and Uggs for a change. I had Places to Go. I was looking Corporate.

Four-year-old Maggie came in my room just as I finished getting dressed. She gave me the once over.


MAGGIE: Mommy… do you…like that shirt?

ME: Why? Don’t you?

Maggie shrugged.

MAGGIE: Well. I like it medium.

I looked in the mirror. This was my surefire meeting shirt. I’d even worn this shirt on TV once. She liked it “medium”?

ME: Why don’t you like my shirt?

MAGGIE: Well, at first I thought it was red. When I saw that it was purple, I liked it medium.

In other words, my blouse’s purpleness was the only thing it had going for it.

ME: Should I take it off? Should I get rid of it?

MAGGIE: (pausing meaningfully) Well. I don’t mean throw it away

This is about when I realized I was letting a four-year-old, who thinks everything would look better with a bedazzled Hello Kitty on it, dictate my fashion choices.

ME: Okay, well, I’m going to wear this shirt, because I like it.

MAGGIE: Are you wearing those black pants with it?

ME: Yes. I mean, I think so.

MAGGIE: Then just make sure you wear high heels.

I dug out my new, sensible, medium-heeled black boots. Put them on. Sure! I just needed the polish of a sensible heel to make the whole outfit pop.

ME: What do you think now?

Maggie sighed heavily.

MAGGIE: Those are not what I call high heels. They should be more long and straighter.

My life has turned into one long episode of What Not to Wear, this one hosted by a preschooler- and it would all be a little easier to take if I wasn’t secretly certain that her sense of style is way, WAY better than mine. I’ll never like that purple blouse more than medium again.

Do your kids critique your fashion?

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