What Not To Wear: Preschool Edition

I had a meeting yesterday morning, and I was up and showered early, eager to put on something besides jeans and Uggs for a change. I had Places to Go. I was looking Corporate.

Four-year-old Maggie came in my room just as I finished getting dressed. She gave me the once over.

 

MAGGIE: Mommy… do you…like that shirt?

ME: Why? Don’t you?

Maggie shrugged.

MAGGIE: Well. I like it medium.

I looked in the mirror. This was my surefire meeting shirt. I’d even worn this shirt on TV once. She liked it “medium”?

ME: Why don’t you like my shirt?

MAGGIE: Well, at first I thought it was red. When I saw that it was purple, I liked it medium.

In other words, my blouse’s purpleness was the only thing it had going for it.

ME: Should I take it off? Should I get rid of it?

MAGGIE: (pausing meaningfully) Well. I don’t mean throw it away

This is about when I realized I was letting a four-year-old, who thinks everything would look better with a bedazzled Hello Kitty on it, dictate my fashion choices.

ME: Okay, well, I’m going to wear this shirt, because I like it.

MAGGIE: Are you wearing those black pants with it?

ME: Yes. I mean, I think so.

MAGGIE: Then just make sure you wear high heels.

I dug out my new, sensible, medium-heeled black boots. Put them on. Sure! I just needed the polish of a sensible heel to make the whole outfit pop.

ME: What do you think now?

Maggie sighed heavily.

MAGGIE: Those are not what I call high heels. They should be more long and straighter.

My life has turned into one long episode of What Not to Wear, this one hosted by a preschooler- and it would all be a little easier to take if I wasn’t secretly certain that her sense of style is way, WAY better than mine. I’ll never like that purple blouse more than medium again.

Do your kids critique your fashion?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom December 3, 2011 at 12:20 am

The day we moved into our new house the kid next door, age 8, came over and rang our bell. “Do you like that light?” he asked me in my foyer, looking up at the light hanging from the ceiling. I told him yes. “Are you going to keep it? It’s kind of small,” he told me. Huh. I think I managed, “Thank you for my opinion.” I’m not sure when they learn social graces/the art of lying/if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all!

Reply

Leave a Comment