why being a mother is like starring in a horror movie

I said it the other night, at a cocktail party.

“Yeah, the kids are good! Things are good! We’re in a really great place. It’s… easy!”

And as soon as it came out of my mouth, I panicked. As I chewed on my chicken satay.

Everyone knows that the girl in the horror movie isn’t supposed to let down her guard for a second.

That’s when she’s done for.

Sure enough, this week I have been knocked for a loop by Motherhood once again. It’s my fault for jinxing myself, I suppose. But I’m not ready to write about it. It would be cool if I were. There’s something very compelling about Dooce’s separation and the way she writes about it, without time to process and make sense. She promises her readers unfiltered honesty and that’s what they get.

But I think I’m more of a it’s-funny-because-it’s-true writer. I like to have enough distance from something to make meaning out of it– or at least find it humorous. And I’m not there yet.

The latest parenting challenge I have been handed is NOT tragic, but it’s my hard. And my hard is hard. And I’m mostly writing this to say that I will say something funny again next week.

Until then, if you catch yourselves telling your friends how easy your mother load has suddenly become… watch out.

Have you ever had a “huh, this is pretty easy” moment, followed by a metaphorical piano falling on you?


{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Meredith L. February 2, 2012 at 7:58 pm

This is why I prefer complaining – things can only get better from there. Every time I stop, look around, and feel happy and content with how things are, something happens to eff it all up. Screw that! When I’m cynical, at least I have the potential to be pleasantly surprised.


Anonymous February 2, 2012 at 8:10 pm

YES! I’d rather my surprises be on the upside. I’m going to start complaining stat.


Sarah Bagley February 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm

This happens to me ALL.THE. TIME!  Just when I think I have my toddler all figured out, so goes and does something that changes up the routine, is able to reach even higher than the day before so I have to yet again remove all objects out of her reach, and I find her climbing up our kitchen chairs and onto the top of our counter height kitchen table.  Motherhood, you keep me on my toes!


Mary Pat February 11, 2012 at 10:15 pm

It has happened to me more times that I would like! That’s why I now have decided to try and savor it if the thought that “things are good” crosses my mind. Rather than thinking I jinxed myself, I just breathe and say, “things are amazing so I am going to enjoy it while it lasts because I know it won’t!” I’m honestly grateful for those periods of “good” times because it recharges me to get through those inevitable psychotic/not so good times. The bad times make you appreciate and be grateful for the good times so much more!


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