I KNOW! I just wish.

My four-year-old has figured out a new way of testing the waters.

Scene: Kitchen. Morning.

MAGGIE: I wish I could have some of my Easter candy right now.

ME: No candy for breakfast, Maggie.

Maggie rolls her eyes.

MAGGIE: Mommy, I KNOW! I just WISH!

Egg on your face, Mommy! Weren’t you even listening?

I have to say, I’m impressed by the elegance of this logical parry:

  1. Verbalize a desire. Don’t ask for what you want; just muse aloud about it.
  2. Wait for other people in the room to respond.
  3. If they say yes– wow, you’ve just scored.
  4. If they say no– then you just go like, what’s with you, weirdo? I *wasn’t* ASKING. I was just WISHING. Just musing aloud.

I think it’s kind of brilliant. I’m starting to imagine all the arenas of self-actualization where I could give this a try.

Scene: Nordstrom Shoe Department

ME: I wish you would give me every Jimmy Choo in my size for fifty dollars. 

SULLEN SALESGIRL: What?

ME: Every pair. And I would pay fifty dollars for all of them. The whole lot.

SULLEN SALESGIRL: *blank stare*

ME: I KNOW! I just WISH!

or:

Scene: The London Hotel. Cocktails. 

ME: I wish you’d give me a deal for a second book. 

EDITOR: Well, the publishing industry is in a bit of a transition–

ME: I KNOW! I just WISH!

I have a bit of trouble going after what I want, naming it, chasing it, entitling myself to the desire and the deserving of it.

I think most women do. I think we’re not supposed to know what we want and ask for it.

And so I’m kind of thrilled that my daughter does wish. And ask. And I hope that she keeps it up. I might even let her have the Easter candy for breakfast next time.

Is there something that you’re too afraid to ask for?

 

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