Another scene from the What Was I Thinking? files:
INT. MINIVAN: AFTERNOON
Mom drives the rattly family minivan up Broadway after soccer class. Two sweaty and tired sons in the third row.
CONNOR: Mom, is “crappy” a bad word?
MOM: Uh, yes. It’s kind of bad. I mean, you wouldn’t want to say it at church or something.
CONNOR: What’s it mean?
MOM: It… means poop.
MOM: If you say something’s “crappy,” it’s like saying it’s made of poop.
CONNOR: So then it is a bad word!
MOM: Well. Better to say that than the other word!
The giggles cease.
SEAMUS: What other word?
MOM: The other word that means poop.
CONNOR: What other word that means poop?
MOM: …the S word.
SEAMUS: You mean the S-T-U-P-I-D word?
MOM: No! I mean… the word that stars with S that’s not nice.
CONNOR: You mean… S-T-U-F-F? Naw, I’m just making that up.
SEAMUS: Mom, seriously. What word?
MOM: … It has four letters?
MOM: Okay, forget it.
I guess I figured I’m raising my kids in New York City. They hear all seven of the iconic dirty words every time we get on a subway– or at least read them scratch-iti’d onto a bus shelter. And their younger sister showed us all her extreme familiarity with the king of the curse words when she was barely three.
But today my children actually shocked me with their innocence. To them, “stupid” is the naughtiest S-word there is, and tonight I thank my lucky stars that they’re still a little bit little after all.
Because once they start cursing, that’ll be really crappy.