Readers, I am happy to report that Seamus has recovered very nicely from his pneumonia and was declared officially able to resume normal activity as of today. This was very good news for Mom, since it was a looonnnng few summer’s days spent indoors, me trying to sneak emails in here and there while forbidding him even one more minute of Dragonvale on the iPad. I couldn’t let him have “screen time” 24/7, but without it, he was irritable, headachy, out of sorts, and bored– that is, unless I put aside whatever notions of a productive afternoon I might have had in order to keep him company.
On Day Three of our quarantine, Seamus decided that what he wanted to do most was set up an epic battle called
“Robots vs. LEGOs”
which he would execute–and I would give my complete and uninterrupted attention– for each of its umpteen rounds of competition.
(Why yes, that is a beautiful sunny day outside, seen streaming in behind the competitors.)
Scoring would be kept via a complicated system of strips of cut-up Post-It notes. Five strikes against a LEGO guy meant he lost one of his LEGOs. He had to lose all of his LEGOs to die. (There went my afternoon.)
After a lengthy preamble on each of the team’s powers, which I tuned out with dreams of Facebook and what everyone was talking about without me, we were nearly ready to begin.
SEAMUS: So Mom. Who do you want to win?
MOM: Um. Who are the good guys again?
SEAMUS: Mom! You weren’t listening!
(I wasn’t listening.)
MOM: Of course I was! I just want to make sure I have it right.
SEAMUS: The LEGOs are the good guys.
MOM: Then I want the LEGOs to win.
(Seamus thinks about this for a minute.)
SEAMUS: Okay. Time to START! THE!– wait, Mom. Don’t just think I’m going to give you a happily ever after ending.
MOM: Oh no, I don’t.
SEAMUS: And that the good guys are definitely going to win.
MOM: I don’t.
SEAMUS: So now who do you want to win?
MOM: (taking this apparent invitation to change my allegiance) I want the robots to win.
SEAMUS: Right. Time to START! THE!–
SEAMUS: But don’t expect the opposite ending, either.
I assured him I did not. I learned about eight years ago never to expect anything at all with Seamus. Doing that only ensures its inverse.
The robots won, by the way, because they in fact could fly even though the LEGO guys didn’t know that. Well played, bad guys.