Today is a weirdly gray day in New York City– looking like the heavens are going to open up at any minute even though no rain is predicted. The skies are the very definition of gloom. And it feels right, because today all of us– especially those of us who live in New York City– are in total shock over the horrible loss suffered by the Krim family. It was, as the New York Times put it, “a scene of almost unimaginable horror,” and I’m not going to bother repeating the details because if you’re a parent you know them already.
It’s the Upper West Side details that get to me, of course: their house number, on a block well known to me. The art classes the mother taught, in the same playground where my children play. The mother turning to the doorman in her confusion (which may sound strange only to those who don’t also live in a building with a doorman, there to protect them, protect their children, from the dangers of life in New York City). And the blog Marina Krim kept, doting on her three young children’s every move, “near getting cheesy,” as she put it, at explaining just how much she loved them.
Most familiar of all: the nanny, part of their lives, part of the family, someone the Krims trusted implicitly. Over at Babble, my friend Marinka wrote about the predictable and disgusting trolls commenting online that this is what happens to people who don’t raise their own children. (Missing the point that this mother did stay at home– not that that should make it any more or less tragic.) I think that’s a regrettable but human impulse at work there: we look for the unlocked side door that gave the evil access so that we can say, well that would never happen to me.
But this? This shouldn’t have happened to ANYONE. It is nothing but unimaginable. Let’s band together and do the right thing here. As Lisa Belkin wrote today on The Huffington Post:
When there are no words, that’s when they are needed most. The way to use them now is to send heartbroken condolences to the Krim family. And tell your children you love them.
Marina, Kevin, Nessie, we are so sorry for your loss.